FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Fairfax, VA -- The Baseball Card Writers Association of America (BCWAA) today announced the establishment of the inaugural "Tournament of Gimmicks," a single-elimination tournament to crown, once and for all, the single worst gimmick in Hobby history. BCWAA President and Founder Chris Harris said, "With all the bullshit Topps, Upper Deck, and others have come up with over the years, it's appropriate we crown the all-time single worst baseball card gimmick, ever. And have a little fun with it."
Joe Lunardi of ESPN's Bracketology has predicted Kazuo Uzuki, Yankee Stadium Legacy, Derek Jeter/George Bush, and "Jon" Smoltz will be the four #1 seeds; but, "`Scoreboard Abe' from this year's Topps is my dark horse to take the title."
Dick Vitale says, "OH BAY-BEE, THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME WITH A CAPITAL-A! I CAN'T WAIT, IT'S MARCH! IT'S TIME FOR THE BIG DANCE! IT'S GIMMICK MADNESS!"
Vitale later gave some of his predictions. "LET ME TELL YA, YANKEE STADIUM LEGACY IS A REAL P-T-Ger, A `PRETTY TIRED GIMMICK!' AND DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE DIAPER DANDY: `SCOREBOARD ABE!' I THINK MILTON BRADLEY'S 2010 TOPPS GIMMICK COULD GO ALL THE WAY TO THE FINAL FOUR!"
"MY SLEEPER PICK? 1998 PINNACLE ZENITH. A REAL MID-MAJOR THREAT THAT EVERYONE SEEMS TO FORGET ABOUT COME TOURNAMENT TIME. BUT, THE ONE WHO'LL BE CUTTING DOWN THE NETS AND BE CROWNED THE DUMBEST GIMMICK OF ALL TIME? WHO ELSE BUT KAZUO UZUKI!"
"BUT, IT WILL ALL COME DOWN TO THE BRACKETS. WHO THE SELECTION COMMITTEE SEEDS, AND WHO THE GET TO PLAY! I CAN'T WAIT!"