Pissing Away Beckett's Credibilty, One Tweet at a Time.

Some things just have to be said.  Even if they are unpleasant to say, and even if such unpleasantries are uncomfortable to write, you just have to suck-up and do what needs to be done.  So, let me take a deep breath.

(SIGH!)

OK then, here we go.

Over the last 24 hours, Chris Olds has managed to piss away about three buckets and a dram full of credibility.  (For those of you not familiar with the British Imperial measurement system, three buckets and a dram works out to about two shitloads and a pint, or just under forty liters.)  How you ask? It all started innocuously enough with this Tweet.

My Topps Archives base set is complete. Now just 23 SPs short.
— Chris Olds (@chrisolds2009) June 9, 2012

And it all degenerated from there.

I won't reprint the complete series between Olds and myself, The Cardboard Junkie, Those Back Pages, Long Fly Ball To Because..., and others, I'd be here all day if I did.  If you want to see all the fallacious arguments, pretzel logic, red herrings and attempted changing of subjects, you're just going to have to look for them yourselves.

All I'll say is, if the Editor of Beckett Baseball and Beckett Sports Card Monthly honestly believes that a full 241-card base set of 2012 Topps Archives is "complete" at only 200 cards and doesn't include the Bryce Harper RC, then we're all fucked.

(OBTW, if you're not following me on The Twinkah, why not?)

It's See-B.S. Sunday Morning with Armen Keteyian.

By now you've seen the piece that aired over the weekend on CBS Sunday Morning. To be fair to Mr. Keteyian, Charles Osgood had the week off -- Osgood would have NEVER allowed this to air -- and you can only do so much with a 5 minute segment. He told a story which he thought was an accurate depiction of The Hobby in 2012. With that said, I thought it was a fine segment ... had it aired in 1994.

The main issue I had with the story was that it completely misunderstands what The Hobby has evolved into. It is not the Romanticized vision of "Leave it to Beaver"-era kids swapping cards, wrapping them up in rubber bands (now you know why you can't find a 52 Andy Pafko without severe notches), then riding the trolley with Mom, Dad, and Sis for a double-header at Ebbets Field.

Those days are past now, of course, and card collecting has ceased to be a "kiddie" Hobby for at least a generation. It is a Hobby for young internet-savvy men (and a few chicks, too), and there's nothing wrong with that. You wouldn't know that from the Keteyian piece.

You also wouldn't know from Keteyian how stratified The Hobby has become. Mr. Mint and five middle-aged guys in a VFW Hall in North Jersey on a Tuesday night are not representative of The Hobby as a whole.

Yes, The Hobby does have problems. But it's no where near as bad as CBS led Sunday Morning viewers to believe.

Topps Gets SUED for Gimmickry.

I wish I was making this up.

First off, remember this...



Well guess what? Topps is getting sued of this card.

Yes,

TOPPS GIMMICKRY HAS DIRECTLY LED TO A LAWSUIT!

Read all about it on Cardboard Connection

DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, TOPPS, WHEN YOU FUCK COLLECTORS IN THE ASS?

It's Time to Play ... TOPPS BULLSHIT BINGO!

The rules are simple.

First, download your official Topps Bullshit Bingo card.

Next, listen to the Topps flunky on Cardboard Connection Radio show.

Listen to internet radio with Cardboard Connection Radio on Blog Talk Radio

The game is simple. Listen to the Topps Flunky and check off the box whenever you hear him utter one of the catchphrases on your card. When you've connected five-in-a-row, shout GAME CHANGER!!!! and...

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates 2012 Topps.

And I'm glad I'm not the only one publicly speaking out.

Topps Outdoes Itself Again.

I'd like to be a fly on the wall in the product development meetings. Seriously, how does Topps come up with stuff this stupid?



I'd imagine the conversation went a little something like this...

"Hmmm... I got a great idea! Let's make fake `Relic' cards of fictional characters, and randomly insert them into our premiere $100/pack relic-themed baseball card product. And on top of that, let's not bother telling anyone about it until AFTER the dumb schmucks who buy this garbage spend their money and discover our latest gimmick!"

Panini... SAVE US!!!!

2012 Topps 1st Impressions: You call this a "Game Changer?"

Replace "Diamond" with "Gold" and WAA-LAH!!!!

2012 Topps Baseball!

No really. 2012 Topps is THE SAME FUCKING PRODUCT as 2011 Topps.

Same 330-card base set.

Same insert overload.

Same parallels.

But to be fair, there are some changes.

It's not the "Diamond Giveaway," it's now the "Golden Giveaway."

All of the "Diamond"-themed inserts are now Golden-themed -- including the Diamond parallels from 2011 Topps, which are now "Gold Diamonds."

And did I mention that Hobby boxes only have 24 packs now?

At least they had the good sense to, in an election year, spare us cards of politicians. For now.

If that's the "Game Changer," then I'd like to go back to the old game, please.

Reason #421 why Gimmicks Suck: Domonic Brown's Non-Twink, Twink.

Take a look at card #421 of the recently released 2011 Topps Series Two. (Oh yeah, S2 is now out) Specifically that flash of light on Domonic Brown's helmet.



It kind of looks like one of those "sparkles" Topps has been Photoshopping into their Twink gimmicks.

But it's not. That's just the reflection of the sun beaming off the brim of his helmet. Nothing more, nothing less.

Of course, if you were looking for Brown's card on eBay -- with all the "Sparkle SP L@@K!!! listings -- you might know that and might have paid $20 for a common card.

I'm not blaming these sellers for attempting to take advantage of what many sellers believe is (in good faith, in my opinion) a Twink gimmick.

No, the blame should be put squarely on a company who continues a frustrating policy of not disclosing complete checklists before a product's release. This is on Topps.

If you would like to make your opinion known on this matter please contact the following address.

Topps US
ATTN: Clay Luraschi, Director of Product Development
One Whitehall Street
New York, NY 10004

Or call them at 1 (800) 489-9149

And now a Special Comment.

There are a million-and-one other things I'd rather be doing than this blogpost. Hell, I don't even collect hockey cards.

The last time I seriously cared about hockey, Ron Hextall was still playing for the Flyers. But I would be shirking in my responsibility if I did not comment on this issue.

A 100-card boxed set where 95% of the boxes are purposefully short a card is, by definition, NOT a "set."

PERIOD.

FULL STOP.

END
OF
DISCUSSION.

That is all. You are now free to more about the cabin.

Rubbing Dogshit into the Collective Noses of all of Quebec.

That's essentially what Topps has done with this Manu-Crap-Tured Patch card.



Your eyes are not deceiving you. That really is a Montreal Expos logo on a Stephen Strasburg card.

(Let me pause to collect myself.)

With this, and the 41 43 (and counting) "Twink" gimmicks (more on those later); I am now thoroughly convinced that Topps no longer drug-tests their employees.

This May Be The Worst Topps "Relic" Screw-Up, Ever.

I'm not going to tell you how to spend your money, and I'll be honest with you, Topps Sterling isn't a product that I'd ever buy anyway.

But if I plunked down $250 for a box of Sterling and pulled this ... I'd never buy a Topps product again.



There was a time when crimes like this were dealt with accordingly.



(h/t The Mojo Beard)

17" of snow

I should be in Florida right now...

...but my flight was canceled.

I really didn't want to go to Florida anyway.

Lucky for you, because canceled flights equal more Robot Theater!

Stale Gum Robot Theatre Presents: Behind the Scenes at Topps (Episode One)

Oh there's plenty more where this came from...

Now that the 2011 Topps checklist is out...

A few more takes on 2011 Topps.

You know that super-cool die-cut card of the 2010 NL Cy Young winner and NL MVP that Topps leaked to Beckett last week? The one that gave The Hobby a collective boner over the possibility that Topps might be bringing back some of the design concepts of the mid-to-late-1990s? You know this card?

Well guess what? You will not be able to find this, or any other "Diamond Die-Cut" card in any pack of 2011 Topps Baseball.

Let me repeat that. The Diamond Die-Cut inserts will not be in any pack of 2011 Topps Baseball.

The only way to get them is through the glorified video slot machine known as the Topps 60th Anniversary Diamond Card Giveaway website.

Yes, you'll have to redeem code cards in order to have a chance of getting a Diamond Die-Cut. And since there will be plenty of leftover "Cards Your Mother Threw Out, But Don't Really Want Back Anyway," chances are, you'll probably get five cards the caliber of an '87 Buddy Biancalana before the Transmogrifier grants you one of these.

But wait, it gets worse.

That's because the size of the Series One Diamond Die-Cut set is (and I'm not making this up) 150 cards.

One Hundred and Fifty Freaking Cards! Assuming that another 150 cards will be added for Series Two and TU&H, and you'll have to redeem twelvity-five thousand code cards and make elevity-seven bazillion trades in order to complete the full 450-card set. It's almost as if Topps just created an insert set that IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO COLLECT, EVEN IF MONEY WERE NO OBJECT.

But let's suppose you've redeemed those twelvity-five thousand code cards and made elevity-seven bazillion trades and completed that 450 card set. You're probably going to want Topps to deliver that set to you, right? Assuming that the shipping & handling remain unchanged from this year's Million Card Giveaway, then ZANG!!! $240 in shipping charges!

Seriously, how could Topps fuck up something this potentially epic, this badly?

---

The rest of the product follows the same tiresome, phone-it-in, formula we've seen for the last few years. A way-too-small 330-card base set, the same numbered parallels, a autogamer in every Hobby box, et al. Even the inserts are pretty much the same as 2010.

Plug in "60 Years of Topps Reprints, Topps 60, Kimball Champions, and Diamond Duos" in place of "The Cards Your Mother Threw Out, Peak Performance, Turkey Red, and Legendary Lineage," and there really is no difference between the structure of the 2010 and 2011 Topps insert programs.

---

Speaking of Kimball Champions, I'm going to ask this again: What the hell are these doing in 2011 Topps? If you're going to make 2011 Topps a massive celebration of Topps Baseball, then make it a celebration of TOPPS BASEBALL! Besides, you got to start thinking ahead for 2012 Topps, right?

---

Yes, there will be (again), whether you like it or not, "Veteran Variations." Or, more accurately, there will be Veteran Variations whether Topps is even aware if you actually like them or not.

The fact that Topps devotes one line, in very small type, on the sell-sheet and doesn't even bother mentioning them at all on the checklist, says a lot about how ambivalent collectors have become to these gimmicks -- and I think Topps is beginning to notice. Topps could (and should) drop these cards the week before pack-out, and collectors wouldn't notice nor care.

Memo to Topps...

Relic: (noun) An antiquity that has survived from the distant past.

In other words, something none of these Topps cards are.








Why does Topps continues to call these manufactured relics, "Relics?"

Pissing on the grave of your meal ticket.

By now you've seen the video, on read about it on ACP, SCU, or FCB. (Warning, clicking on the links may cause projectile vomiting.)

The question I have is this: How does the Mantle family allow Topps to desecrate The Mick like this?

Look, we get it. He's been retired for 40 and dead for 15 years. The supply of Mickey Mantle autographs and (real) gamers is finite.

But c'mon.

"MICKEY M?" How do we even know this is from a real Mickey Mantle autograph? For all we know, that could be Mickey Mouse.

Absolutely disgraceful.

Special Comment: Transparency in The Hobby

And now a Special Comment...



We all know that the trading card business can be a competitive one. So when I read this morning on A Cardboard Problem that Leaf, the trading card company formerly known as Razor, was withholding the final checklist (so as not to tip-off their "competitors," i.e. Topps) on its debut mixed-martial arts trading card set.

Leaf/Razor, of course, is a non-entity in The Hobby; as if buying a dormant brand name somehow adds credibility. "Leaf" is not the same company that produced Frank Thomas's rookie card 20 years ago. It's still the same ol' Razor -- a marginal trading card company with no real licenses, relegated to pseudo-sports and repacking other company's cards.

But sadly, the secrecy they employ is commonplace amongst other, more respectable, trading card companies. Upper Deck lost their MLB license months ago. Yet attempts by your humble correspondent to get Upper Deck to reveal the complete list of 2010 "Double-Take" variation cards, have been for naught. Despite the fact that UD no longer has a baseball license, they still refuse to reveal what the variations are. To their (partial) credit, six months ago, just days after they settled their lawsuit with MLB Properties, they did issue a checklist of what 25-cards are in the set. They have still yet to visually identify what the variations are.

What reason is there for UD's secrecy? Why haven't they identified what the variations are like they said they would?

But Upper Deck no longer has a baseball license. Topps still does, and when it comes to "stealth" inserts and other chicanery, Topps is a serial offender.

Case in point: The "World's Biggest" inserts in year's Allen & Ginter. Are these on the checklist? Were these mentioned on the sell sheet? How about Topps' pathetic excuse of a website?

No. You will not find any mention of these cards. Anywhere. No thanks to Topps, it was us, the collectors, who had to discover for themselves that the first five cards in the set were exclusive to Blaster and retail boxes and the other 20 are only in gravity-feed loosey packs.

Sadly, this is only one example. Remember "Scoreboard Abe?" Topps didn't make any mention of that card until March -- almost two months after the release of Series One Topps.

Why do card companies do this? Why do they keep giving us, the collectors, the people who support them and pay their salaries, "The Mushroom Treatment?"Is it asking too much of Topps, UD, Leaf/Razor, et al, to actually tell us what is in their products, before we buy them? Why do they continue to disrespect collectors like this?

I'm Chris Harris on this, the 386th day since Upper Deck lost their MLB license. Good night and good luck.

Topps Tribute EPIC RELIC FAIL!

After The Great Babe Ruth Stadium Seat Kerfuffle in last year's Topps Tribute, you'd think Topps would have learned their lesson. But noooooo....

Check this out, and tell me what you think this thing attached to this Mickey Mantle baseball card is.



It's a shame I won't be able to attend Topps' meet-and-greet at The National on Thursday, otherwise I'd ask them myself.

(image ripped off eBay)

If Upper Deck doesn't reveal the remaining "Double-Take" variations, I'm going to shoot this dog.

Forget about Panini World Cup stickers for a moment. We've got a bigger problem.



Even though they no longer have an MLB license, Upper Deck still won't tell us what all the Double Take variations in 2010 UD Baseball are. Sure, they've published a list of the 25 cards, but not what the specific variations are.

We've already figured out the first 14, but UD's stonewalling us on the other 11.

It's your move UD. You wouldn't want the blood of Scruffy on your hands, right?

Even Hitler is pissed at Topps.

Word finally got back to the bunker, and let's just say Mein Furher is not happy with Topps.