Well, I finally did it.

I did it.  After holding out for two years, I (willingly) bought 2012 Topps Baseball.  As much as I hate the insert bloat, bland design, and intelligence-insulting gimcracks, I just couldn't turn down a good deal; especially on a product that, for all intents and purposes, has become a Junk Wax product.

And so this past Saturday, at a cramped Days Inn ballroom in Lancaster, PA, I forked over $13 and bought 26 Hobby loosies of 2012 Topps Baseball Series One.

No, you are not seeing things.  I bought 26 packs of 2012 Topps One for a fourth of their $1.99/pack MSRP.  I suppose there wasn't enough "added value," huh?  Or squirrels?

Anyway, as feared, the product ranges from mediocre (base set) at best, to bland and soulless (inserts) at worst.  Take a look at the piss-poor design of these inserts.

You can tell that these cards are designed first as BIG MOJO HITZZZ!!!1!!, then retconned into inserts with a team logo and/or seal; and that big-ass logo/seal makes them look like shit.

And what's with all the "Gold" anyway?  Gold Standard, Golden Moments, Gold Futures, Golden Greats?  What's the point of having all these inserts anyway?  Just about every pack I opened had two inserts in it.  Does anyone at Topps seriously think that this "adds value?"  Do they understand the concept of Diminishing Marginal Utility?

I did manage to pull this purely Lagniappe Michael Pineda letter patch which, unlike most letter patches, is not manufactured.  It was cut out of the warm-up jersey he wore at the 2011 All-Star Game.  Not a manu-relic, but not exactly "game used" either.

So there.  It took me two years, but I've finally crossed over to the dark side and I feel a bit dirty for doing so.  Now if you will excuse me, I need to look up the nearest Free Clinic.

Things That Cost $2000

For $2-Large you can buy....

...a Dyson G-Force vacuum cleaner.

...16.12 Barrels of light sweet crude.

...a hour with a "high-end" New York call girl.

...4.22 shares of Google.

...one pack of Razor Oval Office Cut Signature Edition.

何がである"愚かな仕掛けのために日本語か。"

Remember that Topps card of Kazuo Uzuki that everyone forgot about when we all realized it was just another stupid gimmick? Guess what? It was all an April Fool's joke.

Really.

I'm not making that up.

It says so right in the press release.

I'll leave to the judgment of the reader to determine whether the joke is on you the collector, or on Topps.

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Speaking of gimmicks, Mario over at Wax Heaven has the scoop on 2008 Topps Finest. Yes, the idea Topps ripped off of Dr. Wax Battle the cast of the Topps TV Rip Party is now a subject for an autographed insert. So for those of you patiently waiting for your boxes of Finest to arrive at the local Hobby shop, buyer beware. Your one-per-mini-box "hit" might be this.

Some thoughts on Beckett-Gate.

Normally, I do not comment about "Lotto Pack" products, but recent events have led me to reconsider. First, take a look at this video of 2007 Upper Deck Exquisite Football.



You get the idea.

Now it would be one thing if it were isolated to just 2007 Upper Deck Exquisite football. Maybe Beckett got lucky, maybe not. But if you look at some of Beckett's other video box breaks, they've seem to be getting "Hit of a Lifetime" cards out of all sorts of UD, Topps, and Donruss-Playoff products in all sports (and non-sports).

All of which leads me to wonder: W.W.J.D. What Would Jim Do? Say what you want about Jim Beckett, but no one (and I mean, NO ONE) ever questioned the man's integrity. Beckett truly was "The Hobby's most reliable and relied upon source," and part of that had to do with the man in charge. But no more.

Don't get me wrong. I have no problem with Beckett (or anybody else in The Hobby media) doing video box breaks and product reviews. Objective consumer reporting is a vital component to any respectable journalism outlet. Nor should Beckett be held to account 100% for this debacle. Topps, UD, Donruss, et al, may very well be sending Beckett loaded boxes. (And it's not just Beckett either, as this video from Dr. Wax Battle shows.) Beckett probably is an unwilling accomplice, and we should give them benefit of the doubt. But Beckett should have never put itself in this position in the first place.

May I make a proposal? From now on, anyone in The Hobby media who reviews product should no longer accept free samples from card manufacturers, and the manufacturers should no longer offer them to the press. If you're going to review wax, and expect your reviews to be taken seriously, then pay for your box like the rest of us.

I'm proud to say that in my 9+ years of reviewing wax, I've never received any free cards from the manufacturers. And I can say to you with full confidence, that every single product I've ever reviewed on this site was paid for out of my own pocket at current market prices. I don't think it's too much to ask of Beckett -- or anyone else who reviews wax -- to do the same. W.W.J.D.?

Reason #423 Why Topps Moments & Milestones is a Joke.

Is this what Topps meant by "Added Value in Every Pack?"

Courtesy of the must-read Sports Collectors Daily:

"Topps is confirming that because of what it calls 'a manufacturing error' in the recently-released 2008 Topps Moments & Milestones Baseball, card numbers 145-189 feature more than one red parallel.

"By design, each of the Rookie Cards 145-189 should only have one Red Parallel (1 of 1), but because of the error the subjects have an additional 20 Red Parallels."

In other words, the only "true" ones-of-one in TM&M -- and the only ones-of-one that might actually be worth more than the price of a waxpack -- are actually 20s-of-one.

Congratulations, suckers!

I Take Back Everything I Said About 2008 Topps Heritage.

Just read the Cardboard Junkie's rant on the "super duper ultra whooper collectors take it in the pooper short print gimmick cards" in 2008 Topps Heritage.

Topps, you are officially "On Notice"

The Curious Case of Kazuo Uzuki.

Twenty-three years after George Plimpton and Sports Illustrated gave us Sidd Finch, Topps has issued a "Future Star" card of a Japanese teenage pitching sensation named Kazuo "The Uzi" Uzuki.

He's only sixteen and has a fastball clocked at 104 MPH!

Two years ago, as a fourteen-year-old, he was invited to tryout for Japan's World Baseball Classic team.

And, according to the back of his short-printed 2008 Topps card, one scout says he's the best pitching prospect he's seen in three decades!

But wait a sec. If there really was a 16 year-old in Japan who could hit 104 on the Jugs gun, and was invited to try out for the Japanese World Baseball Classic team at 14, don't you think he'd be a household name on this side of the Pacific already?

And besides, don't they use the metric system in Japan?

Does Topps really, really, think we're this stupid?

(h/ts to Short Printed and Wax Heaven)