Gonzo Box Break: 2009 Topps Finest

Bloggers Note: This is a Gonzo Box Break. To experience this video break properly, please follow these instructions before viewing.

1) Acquire a half-pint 10-inch hypodermic needle (the kind used for spinal taps & inoculating bulls).

2) Fill this full of rum, tequila, Wild Turkey, or Flying Dog Brewery's Gonzo Imperial Porter.

3) Inject the entire contents straight into the stomach, through the navel. This will induce a fantastic rush -- much like a three-quarter hour Amyl high -- plenty of time to watch the awful spectacle below.

4) Set to full-screen and press play.



One Master Box of 2009 Topps Finest Baseball -- supplied by the manufacturer for free.
Two, six-pack, mini-boxes per Master Box (MSRP $50/mini-box)

Base Set: 49 of 164 (29.88%)
short set: 48 of 150 (32.00%)
1 Autographed Rookie Letter Patch (14 manufactured letter patches, 1:2 mini-boxes): T. Snider EXCH

Parallels

4 "Plain Vanilla" Refractors: J. Posada, X. Nady, HanRam, M. Garza
4 Blue Refractors (numbered to 399): The World's Fattest Vegetarian, K-Rod, T. Hudson, M. Tuiasosopo
1 Green Refractor (1:2 mini-boxes, numbered to 99): G. Meche
1 Gold Refractor (1:4 mini-boxes, numbered to 50): M. Buehrle
1 Autographed Rookie Letter Patch Refractor (1:4 mini-boxes): A. Solome "E"

Inserts

1 2009 MLB Rookie Redemption (1:3 mini-boxes): #1

Product Rating: 2 Gumsticks (out of 5)

Remember when "Baseball Cards" had, you know, *BASEBALL* players on them?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you this year's "Poley Walnuts."



And yes, this is an actual card that will be inserted into '09 UD2 packs.

$20 Worth of Junk Wax: 2000 Topps TEK

A set so bad, it deserved its own video.

$20 Worth of Junk Wax (Part Two)

$20 Worth of Junk Wax (Part One)

This has nothing to do with baseball cards, but...

... I got accepted to grad school today.



Anybody know of any decent card shops in D.C.?

An Idea for 2010 Upper Deck Baseball.

An Idea for 2010 Topps Baseball.

From The "You Knew This Was Going to Happen" Department: Topps Sues UD.

Those of you that had April 14th in The Stale Gum Lawsuit Pool, congratulations, you are a winnah!

From Bloomberg...

Topps, which was taken private in 2007, claims in a lawsuit filed today in Manhattan federal court that Upper Deck’s newest cards are using a design from Topps’ 1971, 1975 and 1977 cards.

Umm, ya think?

To review: This is a 1971 Topps card.


And this is a 2009 Upper Deck "1971 OPC" card.



Seriously, who didn't see this coming?

But He's Got, High Hopes...

I was going to publish my 2009 Topps Heritage gimmick article today...

... but I can't. No, not today.

The voice of my childhood, and of the WFC, has been silenced.





And somewhere, in that big ol' press box in the sky, Harry and Whitey are smoking cigars and catching up on old times.

Dr, Wax makes the New York Times.

This guy from The New York Times e-mails me the other day about a story on"this phenomenon of people opening packs of baseball cards online."

So I tell him, "Hey, you're in New York. Pay a visit to see Dr. Wax Battle. He practically invented the video break."

Nice to see Dr. Wax get some pub.

(Reg. required)

Does Beckett bother vetting new blog contributors?

Warning, this link may not be SFW.

With that said, I'd like to meet this Ms. Shafer. (There, I said it. Don't judge me.)

One year ago, this happened.

Looking back one year later, it still amazes me that somebody at Topps thought this was a good idea.