Tuesday, December 16, 2008
And now, for The 2008 Gummies, Barry Champlain.
You do not make perfect sense to me.
I am a hypocrite; I ask for sincerity and I lie.
I denounce The Hobby as I embrace it.
I want money and power and complete sets.
I want all the hot rookies and autographs, and I don't give a damn about you or The Hobby. That's the truth.
For this I could say I'm sorry, but I won't. Why should I? I mean who the hell are you anyway ... you "collectors?" You're on me every night like a pack of wolves cause you can't stand facing what you are and what's become of baseball card collecting. Yes, The Hobby is a terrible place, and yes, that's what junk products and bad gimmicks will get you. Yes, Upper Deck is bringing back UDX, yes, Topps is shot to hell and we're all goners!
Everything is screwed up and you like it that way, don't you? You're fascinated by the gory details.
Next month, millions of people are going to be reading the results of The 2008 Gummies, and YOU HAVEN'T SENT IN YOUR NOMINATIONS! Marvelous technology is at your disposal, but instead of reaching up to new heights and MAKING YOUR OPINION KNOWN we're going to see how far down we can go; how deep into the muck The Hobby can immerse itself.
You frighten me. What's wrong with you? Why aren't you voting in The Gummies?
This Hobby is in deep trouble people! It's rotten to the core and somebody better do something about it! Now I want you to take your hand out of that bowl of Freedo's, throw away your National Enquirer, and send in your nominations!
You heard Barry, get your Gummie Award nominations in now!