Yeah, yeah, I know. It's been a while. Most of my action has moved over to BaseballCardPedia and Twitter. If you haven't already, I'd appreciate a follow.
I just wanted to post this card -- and yes, this is a REAL card that sold on eBay for $259 -- to preserve it for all posterity.
Greatest card since the Billy Ripken 89F? Yeah, I think so.
Greatest Relic fuck-up since the ManRam "corked bat" card? That, too.
First off, this post is definitely NSFW. If you have kids, or are at work reading this, stop now and go someplace else now. Or go read about pony cartoons.
Now, for some background, read this article on Deadspin about the couple in the bleachers getting it on during an Oakland A's game in 1997.
OK, so you're all up-to-date on where this might be leading? Good.
Because I think I found our mystery reverse-cowgirler, and you can thank my encyclopedic knowledge of mid-90s baseball cards. Say hello to former Phillies prospect...
The backstory DOES check out. He was a first-round pick of the Phillies in '92 and was one of the club's top prospects in the mid-90s. He played with Scott Rolen on the 1995 and '96 Reading Phillies, so it stands to reason that they might have been roommates. And by the time this video was taken, McConnell was already out of baseball due to injuries; so he probably had some free time on his hands.
But come on, the eyebrows and sideburns are a dead giveaway.
WARNING: This video box break is of an adult nature and is for adults only.
I wound up busting the rest of the box, and you didn't miss much. The collation was so awful that I'm still two cards short of the full 100-card base set.
Think about that. There are 360 cards in this box, and I'm still missing cards #99 & #100. But at least I have seven "Danielle Dangerously's."
There's also one other thing about this box. I have no interest in keeping ANY of these cards in my collection. Don't get me wrong, I LOVVVVVE the ladies; and yes, like most men my age, from time-to-time, I like looking at pornography.
But I don't like going to the kinds of places where many of the subjects of this card set are employed. The DJ's are annoying. The drinks are overpriced. And, like Chris Rock said, there is no sex in the Champagne Room. None.
But what I really don't like are the employees; i.e. the kinds of women depicted in this card set. I don't like skanky women.
I don't want these cards; but as a card collector, I can't bring myself to throw them away. They are trading cards, after all.
So, I throw this question to the floor: What should I do with a box full of porno cards?
1) Put 'em on eBay.
But who the hell is going to want only 98% of a set? And does anyone really, really, need eight Regina Price "rookie" cards?
2) "Bip" people with them.
But then if I Bip the wrong person, I run the risk of seriously offending the recipient. And the last thing I need is to be placed on a sex offender registry.
3) Send them all back to Tom The Ripper.
This is the easy way out, and the path of least resistance. Just ship 'em all back from whence they came.
4) Bite the bullet and just throw them in the garbage.
Posts
