Announcer: "And now, from the parking lot of the Topps plant in Duryea, PA; almost live -- it's the 37th Annual Gummie Awards."
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the Baseball Card Writer's Association of America: Chris Harris."
CH: "Thank you very much. As many of you are aware, the ongoing Writers Guild of America strike has prohibited the Baseball Card Writers Association of America from our annual award ceremony, champagne dinner, and beer pong tournament. I know many of you were disappointed, not the least of which are myself and Pat Burrell as we were set to defend our Gummie Award beer pong title. But although our usual presentation spectacular will not commence this year, nonetheless, we are proud to announce the winners of the 37th Annual Gummie Awards."
"Right now, our staff is passing out to you, the assembled Hobby media, a list of the winners. If any of you need additional copies, there will be a stack of extra sheets on the table over by the Yuengling kegs."
"Again, thank you for coming. As I mentioned, we still have three kegs of Yuengling, and plenty of cocktail weenies for your enjoyment. If you have any questions or comments, I'll be available for comment in the green room. Thank you very much for coming out to Duryea."
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
DURYEA, PA; JANUARY 14, 2008 -- Below is a list of the winners of the 37th Annual Gummie Awards.
Best Insert Set: Topps Distinguished Service
Worst Insert Set: Topps Generation Now
Best Retro-Themed Product: Topps Allen & Ginter
Worst Retro-Themed Product: Sportkings
Best Autogamer Set: Upper Deck Goudey Sports Royalty
Worst Idea: Upper Deck's insertion rookie redemption cards in Upper Deck Series One.
Best Quick Correction of a Bad Idea: Upper Deck fulfilling all Series One rookie redemptions for the entire 20-card set.
Most Short-Sighted, Boneheaded Decision: Converting Fleer Ultra into "Ultra SE," a "one-hit-per-pack" product.
Best Idea: Releasing the "real" Fleer Ultra to retail.
Most Meaningless Product: Bowman
Best Designed Set: UD Masterpieces
Worst Designed Set: Topps
Best Base Set: Topps Allen & Ginter
Worst Base Set: Topps Moments and Milestones
Best Baseball Card Blog: The Cardboard Junkie
Best Baseball Card News Site: The Brill Report
Jefferson Burdick Prize for Contributions to The Hobby: Michael O'Keeffe; author of The Card.
Card of the Year: Topps Allen & Ginter #261: Torri Hunter
Product of the Year: Topps Allen & Ginter
Worst Product (3-Way Tie (For Last)): Topps Moments and Milestones, UD Black, and Sportkings