Sunday, December 16, 2007

The Stale Gum Chrismahanukwanzakah Gift Guide.

We all have a wife/girlfriend/parent/domestic partner/significant other who just doesn't understand the obsession we have of collecting tiny cardboard pictures of grown men. If you're like me, your loved ones have no idea what to get you for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus.

So you try asking for that card that's been on your wantlist for years. Or you ask for that waxbox of that hot new product. Chances are, this is the response you get:

"$100! For a pack of baseball cards! A C-Note for ONE PACK! Does that come with a handjob, too?"

"Autographed Gold Refractor? Why would anyone autograph a telescope?"

"Joba? What kind of parent names their kid Joba!!!"

Fear not. The magic elves at Stale Gum are here with a baseball card gift guide, taylor-made for the non-collector. Simply print this guide out, and hand it to your non-collecting loved ones.

A Gift Certificate to the local card shop

This is a "no-brainer" gift. Provided, of course, your local card shop offers gift certificates. And assuming, of course, that there's still a card shop in your neighborhood.

Blaster Boxes

You know all those miniature boxes of baseball cards that they stock in the checkout lane? We call 'em "Blaster Boxes," and they're Sam Walton's (or God's) gift to card collectors.

A Blaster Box has about 8-12 packs of cards, and sell for about $20. Not a bad deal.

Factory Sets

Again, another "no-brainer" gift. It's the complete set of cards, all without having to rip open all those pesky packs.

They sell them everywhere -- usually in the same aisle as the Blasters -- and what collector doesn't like getting a factory set?

A "Rated Rookie" T-Shirt

If you're a non-collector, then you probably don't get the fetish we have over "Rookie Cards." Believe me, I've been collecting for over 25-years, and I still don't get it.

However, if you know and/or love a baseball card collector, then he/she needs a "Rated Rookie" T-shirt.

It says, "Yeah, not only am I in my 30s and collect baseball cards; I never stopped collecting! Not even in the '90s!"

100% completely un-licensed, I found mine on, for $20 plus shipping.

The SCD Catalog on CD-ROM

A checklist of every single card made in the modern era, all on one CD-ROM -- complete with pictures and descriptions. A must for any serious collector; and at only $14.95, it's the perfect stocking stuffer. Find out more here.

1994 Score Rookie/Traded Alex Rodriguez "Call-Up"

Alright folks, this is the "big ticket" item. Don't worry about what it all that "Call-Up" crap means. Just cut-and-paste the phrase into eBay, and start bidding.

1 comment:

--David said...

"$100! For a pack of baseball cards! A C-Note for ONE PACK! Does that come with a handjob, too?" - The natural response to this, of course is: "Wow, Honey, you're giving me a pack of cards AND a hand-job! I love you!"