UPDATED: The Upper Deck Death Pool.

NOTE: Lest I be accused of running a sham contest for the purpose of collecting cheap game-jersey cards, please DO NOT SEND ME ANY CARDS AND DO NOT ASK FOR MY MAILING ADDRESS! (Unless, of course, you just want to send me free stuff, or make a trade offer. That I have no problem with.)

After the contest is over, and a winner declared, I will e-mail the winner's mailing address to everyone who entered. You can then send them your UD cards directly.

In the meantime, YOU MUST DECLARE YOUR PRIZE POOL CONTRIBUTION ALONG WITH YOUR ENTRY! Any entries that do not follow BOTH steps 1 AND 2 below, WILL BE IGNORED!


The handwriting is on the wall.

The fat lady is warming up her vocal chords.

Keyboard Cat is about ready to play 'em off.

Select your favorite cliche, but with the news that Upper Deck has fallen behind on royalty payments with the MLBPA, combined with their loss of an NFL license, and their twin courtroom defeats at the hands of Konami and MLB Properties, things ain't looking so great at Sea Otter Place.

So, whaddaya say we have a little fun at a doomed card company's expense, huh? Introducing the "Stale Gum Upper Deck Death Pool." Here's how to play..

1) Note in the comments below the exact date Upper Deck will formally cease to exist, or get bought out by a competitor. (Filing for bankruptcy doesn't count, we're talking a total Pinnacle Brands/Fleer-style liquidation or merger, folks.)

2) Contribute something of value (preferably Upper Deck related) to the "prize pool" as your entry fee.

3) Profit!

Closest to the actual date of corporate death without going over (Price is Right style) wins!

Let me kick off the competition with a guess of July 12th, 2010. And...


... this stack of 93, count 'em, 93! different Upper Deck 20th Anniversary inserts.

Well, what are you waiting for?

National Chichle Parody Contest: We have a winnah!

Gentlemen, BEHOLD!!!!



I give you, the winner of the National Chicle Parody Contest: Beardy's Barry Aaron!

National Chicle Parody Card Finalists

First off, I have not forgotten the Decade Gummie Awards. Balloting for the best, and worst, of The Hobby in the decade just concluded will commence shortly.

Now that I've gotten that little piece of housekeeping out of the way, here are the five finalists in the National Chicle Parody Card contest. Keep in mind, the winner will receive a custom-made, one-of-one, cut signature card of Chris Olds.

Finalist #1, Beardy's "Barry Aaron":



Finalist #2, Greg Armentrout's "Barack Ghandi":



Finalist #3, Phungo's "Sy McWilliam":



Finalist #4, dayf, The Cardboard Junkie's "National (Goudey) Chicle":



And just for shits and giggles, I hereby nominate this card as Finalist #5:



Make your selections in the comments below, and I'll announce the winner this Sunday!

National Chicle Parody Card Entrants.

From Dave Landesberg:

"We knew Don was old, but seems odd..."



From Steve at White Sox Cards:

"Using Topps logic, I wondered what a card of Barry Bonds would look like if the White Sox chose him instead of Kurt Brown in the 1985 draft. Then, also using Topps logic, I would use a picture of his "Killer Bs" partner Bobby Bonilla."



From Beardy, these two entries:



"Figured it was only appropriate after yesterday's big announcement admission."



From Motherscratcher of The Achiever Card Blog:

"This is my first entry. It will probably be the last as I am an exceedingly lazy man."


From Mark's Ephemera:

"See what a hornet's nest you've created?"


From Greg Armentrout:

"Let's see, cards depicting a regular player and named a respected immortal. This should fit that bill."



From Gellman At Sports Cards Uncensored:

"Haha, this is how I think."


From Matthew Glidden of Number 5 Type Collection:

"Enjoyed your contest concept and just crafted one based on a Ty Cobb."


From Matt Stephenson:



From Jeffrey Wolfe:



And finally, from dayf The Cardboard Junkie:

"Drinkin' the Haterade and spittin' on artists... Imagine how miserable I'd be if I DIDN'T like National Chicle!"



"This one was inspired by Paul Lempa, the guy who painted the Chipper Ruth card, in a comment from this post."


Thanks to all who entered. The winner of the Chris Olds cut signature will be announced shortly.

UPDATE: Damn, I almost forgot about Phungo's entries.

UPDATE: National Chicle Parody Card Contest.

UPDATE:

Yes, it's real.

---

You've seen the previews. You've read the negative reaction from around the cardblogosphere. And I know what you're thinking. How can I get in on the action? How can I simultaneously make fun of Topps for such a bad concept AND come away with a one-of-a-kind prize?

Fear not collector. Introducing the Stale Gum, Topps National Chicle Parody Card contest.

Just make your own National Chicle-inspired parody card, and e-mail it to me. If I judge you to have made the best fake card, you'll win a genuine one-of-one custom "Franken-Cut" signature card of Beckett.com serial plagiarist/Topps apparatchik Chris Olds.

Yes, this is a real 100% authentic signature of Olds, cut out of a greeting card acquired by yours truly, and mounted into a custom 2.5" X 3.5" frame.

Don't delay, enter today! And to inspire you, here are some examples of what I'm looking for.

Win a box of 2009 Bowman Sterling Football

We have a winner. Please, no more guesses.